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Post by FinalSoraRiku on Jan 4, 2011 19:54:12 GMT -8
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Blinx2
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Post by Blinx2 on Jan 10, 2011 13:29:04 GMT -8
blah its ok i see worse.... iguess....!!!!  ? |
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Post by AngelicHearts on Jan 10, 2011 17:26:49 GMT -8
Heh, I read this a while ago, and I gotta say, this is pretty sweet! I like your writing style. I've seen stories that... Well, I dunno how to explain, but just regular stories that you'd see in a book. I've also seen some stories that just go sentence by sentence, kind of like a roleplay. This is one of those types, and I think it's pretty interesting. Most of the time when I see a sentence by sentence story, the person usually adds some random plot hole that messes everything up, or the story doesn't run smoothly. It's good to see that there are some good stories out there. ;D I do have a question, though. When he slips at the end, does he survive or does he die? I was just wondering because of the very last line. I thought he survived somehow, lol.
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Post by FinalSoraRiku on Jan 11, 2011 9:02:35 GMT -8
Heh, I read this a while ago, and I gotta say, this is pretty sweet! I like your writing style. I've seen stories that... Well, I dunno how to explain, but just regular stories that you'd see in a book. I've also seen some stories that just go sentence by sentence, kind of like a roleplay. This is one of those types, and I think it's pretty interesting. Most of the time when I see a sentence by sentence story, the person usually adds some random plot hole that messes everything up, or the story doesn't run smoothly. It's good to see that there are some good stories out there. ;D I do have a question, though. When he slips at the end, does he survive or does he die? I was just wondering because of the very last line. I thought he survived somehow, lol. No, he died. The ending supposed to be mostly sad, except for that one line. You think it's good? ;D I never did think my writing was so great, and I'm kind of bad at making conversations fluent, hence the simple line breaks when Renze was talking to the hare. |
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Blinx2
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Post by Blinx2 on Mar 23, 2011 14:45:57 GMT -8
she never said it was bad so it it is (note good i meanmu ha haha ha ha)
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mrhissy
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Post by mrhissy on Mar 27, 2011 5:25:33 GMT -8
I feel sorry for the wolf.
You write awesome, btw. I always get too lazy to finish whatever story I write. I read this through like 3 times already.
There should be a prequel to this story. And it would be cool to see the reason why the pack left him.
Or a sequel. Like the rabbit finds the wolf dead. But then it would start becoming the story of the hare, not the wolf. Movie sequels stink anyways.
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Blinx2
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Post by Blinx2 on Apr 1, 2011 14:46:34 GMT -8
same mr smae here....!!!! ? |
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Post by FinalSoraRiku on Apr 18, 2011 7:36:10 GMT -8
I feel sorry for the wolf. You write awesome, btw. I always get too lazy to finish whatever story I write. I read this through like 3 times already. There should be a prequel to this story. And it would be cool to see the reason why the pack left him. Or a sequel. Like the rabbit finds the wolf dead. But then it would start becoming the story of the hare, not the wolf. Movie sequels stink anyways. Sorry if I'm bumping this, I just today decided to see if there was anything I missed on the boards. Really? I've gotten alot better (IMO), with some more inspiration, and to tell the truth, I didn't think it was that great, and it could've been planned out better. A good deal of the stuff I try to turn into literature simply comes into my mind at night, as I lay in my bed. They're never fully complete however, so they aren't that perfect. Nobody how good I think I am, I always want to be better. It makes me wonder what art I'll excel in... |
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